nothingness

feelin low lately... heck, its lower than low. this time, its harder to take than the previous. i thought it would be easier coz its supposed to be a deja vu, but no, it is doubly hard n tougher than i can bear. people around me can sense and tell me im not looking so good. they know me better than myself. i dont know how to handle it anymore. i kept asking into the vast air, can u come back? will u come back? will it be the same again? ever? or this is it? of course there is always no answer to my genuine questions.

i felt like im being played. again, its self imposed, all voluntary, all mutual. but nonetheless this is not a good feeling. i felt like i am left alone here while u are over there so far away. have u forgotten about me? will u ever remember me? will i be the special one to u? will i? again, there's always no answer to my genuine questions.

baffled, im baffled by questions.. questions unanswered, longing for the questions to be answered, wanting to know so badly.

i dont know how long i need to wake up from slumber.. defo more than a couple of months like u expected. sory, but this is tougher than i anticipated and i dont know wot to do about it.